While you might not have noticed the Houston Rockets hit the NBA sale rack a few weeks back, you certainly didn’t miss Tuesday’s follow-up bombshell: Beyoncé—you know the one—is apparently interested in purchasing a stake in The Association’s latest superteam. Whether or not she’ll actuallly follow in the footsteps of Justin Timberlake, Gloria Estefan, her husband, and countless other musicians-turned-sports-magnate-hobbyists remains to be seen, but if she does, you can expect to see some serious changes around the Toyota Center next season. Check it out:
More Glittery Uniforms:
The Rockets always have some the raddest alternate unis in the NBA, but throw Beyoncé’s Tim Burton-shaming cavalcade of costume designers into the mix, and you can expect some serious fireworks. Also glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.
A Bigger A-List Fanbase:
Celebs welcome, Beckys (especially those with good hair) not.
Coachella Half-Time Shows:
Sorry Clutch, your saggy ass is out on the street. Now that the Queen Bey is buzzing around the owner’s box, fans can expect a Super Bowl-level halftime show 81 nights a season (which is 81 more than the Oilers and Texans combined have ever given this forsaken football boneyard).
The Triangle Offense:
Anybody else get the sense this is really just Phil Jackson in a skin suit trying to troll Carmelo?
Because if you love it…