Philadelphia isn’t exactly known as the most hospitable sports town on earth, but Eagles lineman Lane Johnson knows the way to their cold, shriveled hearts.
That’s right: Beer. At Eagles training camp yesterday—held in a scrapyard down the street from the local Cheese-Wiz plant, presumably—Lane Johnson, wearing a blonde wig beneath his helmet for reasons yet unknown, promised exactly that to each and every Philly Phanatic…with one major caveat:
Now we don’t know if Johnson is just trying make up for a disastrous 2016 in which he was suspended 10 games for a PED violation or if he’s simply been sipping on a few too many Yuengling himself, but saying “Super” and “Bowl” in the same sentence during the first week of August is historically a very stupid idea. How stupid, you ask? Well according to Vegas, the Eagles—one of 13 NFL franchises to NEVER win a Super Bowl, btw—are 50 to 1 longshots.
Sorry to say Philly, but it looks like you’ll be picking up your own tab (read: stiffing the bartender and sneaking out the back) for at least one more season.